In this article, I will be sharing with you how to overcome shyness, self-consciousness and anxiety based on my experiences of overcoming my shyness.
In time this led me to develop the Sunflower Effect Courses®, and for the last 25 years, I’ve been transforming the lives of quiet, shy and introverted people.
Shyness, self-consciousness and anxiety are miserable conditions that can affect the whole of your life. But they don’t need to ruin your potential to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
I spent the first part of my life being shy
I was acutely self-conscious and felt as if I was trapped in a box. I was living on the sidelines, watching other people participate and enjoying themselves.
I desperately wanted to get out of that box and join them. But I didn’t know how?
I got to the point when I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Scroll down to learn more about my story.
What Causes Shyness
Shyness is mostly learned or adapted behaviour and therefore, can be unlearned.
It is most commonly the result of painful experiences that have caused you to shut down and to retreat into your shell.
Many introverts become shy, like me, because of the social pressures that are put on them by other people. To be more social, more outgoing, more of a team player. If you are not able to play the social game, you are simply ignored or excluded. If you’ve had enough of these experiences, you very quickly become shy.
How to overcome shyness, self-consciousness or anxiety
Overcoming shyness is not going to happen overnight.
It needs determination and commitment to unlearn that behaviour. But it can be achieved much quicker and easier than you would think through the Sunflower Effect Courses.
Certainly a lot quicker than most other methods that do very little to dissolve your shyness.
I did it, and the last thing that people think I am now is shy.
It usually takes 3 months for quieter people to build a lasting confidence through the Sunflower Effect®.
One of the Sunflower Effect® 12-week courses will enable you to make a significant shift. And this can be followed up by other courses so you can continue to develop and expand your confidence.
Total Time Needed :
Steps to overcome shyness, self-consciousness and anxiety:
Have you got to the point when you know you HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SHYNESS?
If so, then this is going to take you a long way along this path.
Commitment is a huge confidence builder. When you make a commitment and stick with it, you send a huge message to your unconscious that will lead to greater success.
The first and most important condition is safety – a safe place in which to have permission to make mistakes and to make a bit of a fool of yourself and where no one’s going to laugh at you because you’re behaving differently. When you start, you’re going to feel pretty awkward and self-conscious.
The most important part of this is the emotional safety. The block to most shy people’s expression is not just fear of what others think of you, but what you think of yourself.
The drama we use in Sunflower Effect Courses works in a magical way. It works in a practical way to liberate you from your inhibitions. And it works at an unconscious level to enable you to change habitual behaviour patterns.
It may feel very strange at first, and it doesn’t require you to be any good at drama. It just requires you to “give it a go”.
The next important step is to choose a method that will deliver the results you seek.
How I Overcame My Shyness
Greatest Fear = Greatest Freedom
Something inside me told me drama was the way, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. To perform in front of other people. To expose myself. To make a fool of myself.
But I was to discover that my greatest fear was passage to my greatest freedom. Drama set me free and set me on a life course that I had never dreamed I would follow.
Easier than I thought it was going to be
Much to my surprise, it was much easier than I thought it was going to be. Drama requires you to step into the shoes of another character. It felt very strange at first, but the more I was able to imagine I was the other character, the easier it was.
I wasn’t “being me”, the too shy girl. I had become someone else.
This was also something I had learned how to do as a child. To play pretend games. It had never left me. This is the same for you. As playing pretend games is one of the developmental stages of childhood. Every child has the capacity to pretend they are someone else.
As the character, I started doing and saying things that the Shy Claire would never say and do. And it was fun. I even felt a little bit naughty getting away with doing and saying these things. And even more extraordinary, I was applauded for doing this. This is what happens in drama. The audience applauds whatever is happening in front of them.
Applause is very powerful because it sends messages into the brain and into the unconscious that what you are doing is “good”.
My shyness simply disappeared. And so can yours.
A Safe Place to Express Yourself
If you join the Breakthrough course, my core course for overcoming shyness, you will have a safe place to express yourself and take tentative risks. You will be supported by a committed group of people who feel in the same boat as you and who understand what it feels like to be too shy. This is what makes the difference.
Every week, you will have the opportunity to try out new behaviours by playing characters in a simple story with the support of other group members. In my book From Wallflower to Sunflower, I explain why this is so effective at breaking the old patterns of being too shy.
How to Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety
I recommend the Breakthrough Group, which is specifically designed for shy, self-conscious and anxious people. It’s a safe environment where you can gradually come out of your shell and experiment with new behaviours.
Most people come into this course absolutely frozen with fear, and by the end of the course, have completely put shyness behind them. No longer the “wallflower on the dance floor”.
“That overwhelming feeling of being fed up of being the quiet one and not being able to express myself and almost feeling like a fraud when I’m shy with people I don’t know well. Is why I began my journey with Claire. It now feels like I’m constantly stretching my confidence like you would do if you were overweight and needed to go to the gym. Week by week I started to see progress. Stretching out of my comfort zone, losing excess worries and self-doubt on the way like layers of clothes. I’m so grateful for Claire, and also the people that attend you really do realise that you’re not in this alone others are going through similar experiences and we will overcome it together. Thank you, Claire, you have literally changed my life.”
Vanessa, November 2017 Verified review from Find courses
I also offer a 100% money-back guarantee if you don’t get anything out of the course. If you are extremely shy or anxious, your shyness is there for a good reason – and it’s not going to shift overnight.
You’ll probably need at least two courses before you start seeing significant changes. This is important. Sustained change over a period of time is what leads to long-lasting and, in time, permanent change.
It takes courage and commitment to overcome the discomfort, but that is what is needed. – and with the support of other people all rooting for you.
Basically, the more of this kind of work you do, the quicker you will learn new skills and banish the old habit of being too shy.
Set up a time to speak to me
If you’re not sure if Breakthrough is right for you, you can set up a time to speak to me. It’s free. I can then get more of a sense of what is going to be the best course for you.
Watch this video and learn how I overcame my shyness and how I’ve helped hundreds of shy people put an end to this excruciating experience.
Not Quite Ready For a Course?
Join an Introductory Evening
This will give you a taste of what to expect if you join the Breakthrough Group.
Many people choose to do this as their first step and are surprised by what they are able to achieve in a short session. And just how supportive other people are, in a warm, welcoming atmosphere.
Book an Individual Session
For some people coming into a group is too big a step. In which case a series of individual sessions will help to prepare you. Many people also supplement the course with some individual sessions. Usually, only one session is needed
Dissolving the psychological blocks to your shyness is what is going to make the difference
Buy the book: From Wallflower to Sunflower
Reading the book will enable you to get more out of the Breakthrough Group because you will understand more about how the Sunflower Effect works.
Discover your magic power to break old habits and create new patterns of confident behaviour.
I feel for you. I was in that place many years ago.
Perhaps hesitating has become a bit of a habit? Retreating into your shell was how you survived
So you may want to ask yourself: What is your shyness or your lack of confidence costing you?
Do you need more information?
But if you’ve landed on this page, I do suggest you do something?
You may like to email me and tell me a little bit about yourself and what you are struggling with?
I look forward to supporting you on your journey out of shyness. It will make an enormous difference to your life. See participants’ stories. And save yourself years of pain and disappointment.