Repressed Emotion is the Underlying Cause of Most Confidence Issues
In my article, How to Stop Being Too Nice, I explained how most quiet, shy and nice people are sitting on a volcano of repressed emotions.
The repression of emotion in my experience of working with people with confidence issues is the underlying cause of most confidence problems.
Are you sitting on a volcano full of feelings?
For many years, I lived like this, with this volcano full of feelings waiting to explode inside me.
But I didn’t know they were there. They were so deeply buried inside me that I was unaware of their existence.
Most of them were Rage, Anger, Frustration and Resentment. This was a result of my niceness. I had been putting up with years and years of unkind and unfair behaviour from other people.
In fact, the fire and the molten lava would have shot up into the sky with an amazing force. It would have been seen for miles around. The burning lava would have streamed down the sides of the mountain. Trees would have been ripped up from their roots. Rocks would have been hurled like tennis balls. And people and animals would have fled for their lives!
Most Nice People Don’t Explode
Whilst it is true that in the real world, a volcano like that would cause major devastation, I never exploded. As I pointed out in my article: How to Stop Being Too Nice, most nice, quiet and introverted people don’t either.
It certainly is true that with that kind of build-up, there’s got to be an explosion one day. Something’s got to give. The feelings have got to come out somehow.
An Outlet for My Repressed Emotion
When I was 11 years old, I painted a picture of a volcano in my art class. This was chosen to be displayed in the school corridor. It was the only time a painting of mine ever got displayed.
Knowing what I do now, there was a reason why I could paint a volcano so well.
There was a volcano inside me. For once, this volcano had an opportunity to express itself in the safe context of a painting.
I didn’t know this at the time, but this was Art Therapy. Looking back on it now, I realise this painting was an outlet for all the repressed emotion that was bottled up inside me. At last, it had a chance to express itself. This was a positive release of my suppressed emotions – a brief incident in my childhood as a result of years of repressing my emotions.
The Pressure Cooker Effect
For many quieter people, when the pressure gets too much, there may be mini-eruptions.
Just like a volcano or a pressure cooker, when this pressure releases, the excess steam has to go somewhere. And when this happens, you may be surprised by the force of your reactions.
Sadly, this can also backfire on you, making the situation worse. Instead of releasing the emotion, you find that other people are criticising, judging, or even mocking you for your brief outburst.
After all you do and put up with, you now find that people are avoiding you because of these occasional outbursts. You may even be labelled as nasty.
Many quieter people feel so ashamed and embarrassed by what they’ve expressed that all they want to do is to run away and hide. They beat themselves up for days, weeks or even months afterwards for letting others see how they felt.
What happens when you shut down your feelings for too long
I never knew that I had a volcano inside me. I didn’t know all those feelings were there.
This is what happens when you shut down your feelings for too long; your psychological system simply cannot handle that level of repression. In fact, I had been suppressing my feelings for so long that I had become numb.
When you are experiencing this intensity of feeling, you are releasing a whole raft of hormones. One of these hormones cortisol has very powerful effects. It is helping you to deal with the stress of your emotions, but after a while it becomes toxic, and your system simply cannot cope.
See my article The Curse of Emotions where I explain in much more detail how your repressed emotion is having a toxic effect on your whole body.
Getting Depressed
Fortunately, in some ways, your psychological system has a shut-off mode. If you are not able to release these emotions, then your repressed emotions will go underground. This can come out in a number of ways: depression, unhappiness, feeling blocked and stuck, anxiety, chronic fatigue and a whole raft of physical illnesses.
This is what enables us to live in this numb state for a very extended length of time. Many people can go on like this for many years, even decades, before they see any serious consequences.
In my case, the feelings came out as depression as a young adult, so much so that it was beginning to make me ill.
The Link between the Repression of Emotion and Physical Illness
Doctors recognise that all physical illness is 50% psychological. This was the first thing I learned at the start of my nursing training in 1973, and it has stuck with me ever since.
I also noticed in general that most of the cancer patients I looked after were the nicest people, and I began to develop a theory that there was a link between cancer and repressed emotions.
But this, in fact, became a lifesaver. I ended up in hospital when there was nothing wrong with me, and I met a nurse who was at drama school.
This led to me taking an interest in drama, which, in time, enabled me to express my repressed emotions, and gradually I began to come out of my shell.
The Healthy Expression of Emotion
This is why healthy expression is so important. This kind of expression is not just through the head but with the whole body. This will release the toxins but also the endorphins, which are the feel-good biochemicals, that are so important for well-being, as well as our emotional and physical health.
Because, in truth, when you have embraced all the repressed emotions within you, the more free you will become. The more you embrace the darker aspects of yourself, the more your authentic self can begin to shine through.
How to Release Repressed Emotion
I discovered drama in my early twenties, and I found it a highly enjoyable way to express my emotions.
Particularly .
These were particularly the emotions I found difficult to express, and I achieved this the easiest when I expressed bad characters.
The more I was able to express my emotions in a creative way through drama, the more I was able to free myself.
It felt so good expressing these unacceptable emotions, and I felt even better afterwards.
As layer and layer of suppressed emotion came off, I felt lighter and lighter. I was amazed, too, at how much energy I had.
The negative thoughts stopped going around in my head. Depression and bad feelings became a thing of the past. And I started to become a lot more popular socially.
Drama is the Most Effective Way to Release Repressed Emotion
And I had done this without going to a therapist. In fact, if I had, it would have taken me much, much longer to get to this place of freedom.
This was when my confidence began to transform, and my life really began to change for the better. And it was fun.
It took many years of my work through drama and personal development courses for that volcano to release, and now, in its place, I am glad to say it is a magnificent mountain.
It took many years to get there. This is what led me to develop the Sunflower Effect®, and now I help people find their mountain and express themselves authentically without being dominating or strident. The Sunflower Effect® has been proven to be the most effective way for quiet , shy and introverted people to build confidence. I’m glad to say that can be achieved in a very short amount of time. See their stories.
This is a complex process. To find out more specifically how the adapted drama in the Sunflower Effect Courses will help you to release your emotions, see this article: How to release your emotions through drama
Below are some of the courses I offer to help you release your repressed emotions through drama.
© Claire Schrader 2025
Introductory Courses and Events
Affordable Confidence Courses for quiet, shy and introverted people
Introductory Evening
Curious about how it all works and want to try before you buy? In this 2-hour taster evening, you will be discovering the keys to an authentic confidence based on Claire’s experiences of being a shy introvert and what really worked in getting her out of her shell.
Breakthrough Group
Shy, self-conscious or anxious? Build confidence through drama. Many people have come into this 12-week course to boost confidence absolutely frozen with fear and, by the end of the course, have completely put their fears and inhibitions behind them.
Express Yourself Confidence Workshop
Come out of your shell in a fast, fun, and easier way. In this inspiring one-day workshop, you will build confidence through drama and discover how to exude the kind of magic and passion for life that enables you to look and feel good.
Finding Your Voice
Terrified of speaking in front of groups (public speaking? This 12-week course is unique in that it will actually dissolve the symptoms that cause so much stress: panic attacks, beating heart, blushing etc.
“I Don’t Know What To Say”
Do you struggle in social situations? Never again be stumped for something to say. This Improvisation for Social Confidence Course (12-week) is the most effective way I know of getting over the “I don’t know what to say” syndrome.
Breakthrough Plus
There’s a powerful link between confidence and self-esteem, and this is why it’s often so difficult to maintain confidence when you’ve had painful experiences in the past.
Join Breakthrough Plus, an intensive two-weekend course and discover how you can reverse the effects of these experiences much faster and more effectively than years in therapy as our participants can testify.
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The Sunflower Effect empowers quiet, shy and introverted participants to create the life they want through uncovering and expressing their unique and authentic selves. See The Sunflower Manifesto
